I have two children my ex husband 17 and 15. The 17 year old works as an apprentice and I have tried to make him pay board and food for his dog he bought home. My 17 year old son recently got himself into some trouble and the father insisted on organising a private lawyer which he told me in a phone conversation that he would pay for. Our 17 year old son was entitled to legal aid but the father insisted on him getting this private lawyer. Anyhow what has happened is the father is not paying for the solicitor and left the debt to our 17 year old son. Our 17 year old son has not been paying his board or food for his dog. I have noticed that the 17 year old seems to still have enough money to go out every night and buy junk food and party with his friends and pay for tattoes but not pay his way at home. I have tried to converse with the father and he is stating that he didn’t say that he would pay for the solicitor and yes he did in conversation with me. I also have tried to explain to my ex husband that our son is not doing the right thing at home by paying his way. He came up with a plan that he pay for the arrears in the board and food for our sons dog as long as I provide him with a receipt. I have said to my ex husband that this is a debt that our son owes to me and why should I have to provide you with a receipt. I know for a fact if I provided him with a receipt he could take that of the child support arrears that he owes me. I have basically said to him that I do not agree because this is of benefit to you and not to our son to do the right by me and my partner.
I have told my ex husband that I am not happy with the way he has gone about this legal stuff for our son and left the debt with our 17 year old son. I have told him that I do not want to be bribed in regards to accepting the money from him that our son owes me and provide him with a receipt.
At the moment I feel that I have totally been thrown out of the picture in regards to the legal stuff with our son and had no rights when our 17 year old son was choosing a solicitor because my ex took over and I thought he would do the right thing by our son. I felt that seeing as our son is only 17 he should go for free legal aid and get a solicitor to represent him but the father wanted a solicitor that cost money. He has left the cost with our son.
I only met the solicitor the other day at court because my ex husband would not provide me with details and has asked our son to not tell me anything. I felt like I was disconnected from our son because I was not allowed in the room to talk with this solicitor and my ex and his defacto were and my son lives with me and I have custody till he is 18. I however did speak to the solicitor and introduced myself and explained the situation.
I love my son very much but feel like I have lost control over my son because he has such a dad who is very powerful and our son looks up to him. I feel that this man has let our son down and felt like he had control again when I was pushed aside like I didn’t exist.
I felt that the incident in regards to my son accurred because his father was egging him on and I asked the father for some emotional support and the concerns that I had about our son. He basically bought a motor bike and the father said it was fantastic and I was worried that our was going to kill himself or someone else. I expressed these concerns to his father. Our son went on a police pursuit doing 140km p/h in a 60 zone and is up on 12 charges relating to the incident.
I felt like I lost control of my son because the father was egging him on and did not support me emotionally in regards to our son.
I am worried about our son getting a criminal record. I am worried about our son becoming like his father and I feel like I have no control.
I care about my son but I want him to do the right thing at home and pay his way and know that you cannot through life leaving debts and have to take on responsibilities a long the way.
For example I have recently received a tax thing through child support stating that my ex earns ,900 as a self employed. My income is higher than his. If I did not lodge a change of assessment I would receive 0 Child Support for my 2 sons. My ex owes me arrears and feel that I am entiitled to get it.I have had comments like I am burden on the government but that is not true because I don’t receive any government benefits and live in a legally defacto relationship and pay my taxes. My ex is a hippercrit he is stating that he earns very little to try and pay less child support to support his two children and pay less tax and he also is living in a defacto relationship and has been for 12 years and his partner is receiving a disability support pension as a single person.
I feel like I have a very annoying ex and he just won’t change and he is causing problems in my life in regards to our son and this inpacting on my relationship with my son.
I want our
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
I agree..hes 17, time to grow up. And your x too, but that one wont happen. Take him to court! Sorry you are going through this
Ex seems to only care about stuffing you up regardless of how it affects others
He is a loser so cut him off
re the lawyer, who contracted him? If the ex then tell the lawyer to chase him. If not then he can get it from your son or take legal action against him
Sorry but son needs to grow up and not be jnr to his father
As to child support a lot of men do what he is doing to you. See a pro bono lawyer. get free advice. Also change your own financial affairs to legally cover up what you can. For example, certain things can be paid for before you are paid – the employer does them for you, in many states. That way you do not pay tax on that money and you can rightly declare a lower income. But see that pro bono lawyer
Stop worrying!!! all you have to do is start talking to men that you see could be compatible and try vto get with him . ..thats all I HAVE FOR YOU . GOOD LUCK
Sorry but your wrong. First your son is 17 and you get support for him so there for he should not have to pay you for board. Your also do as I say not as I do. You said your son needs to pay board so there for doesn’t that mean your trying to make him responsible for himself and his dog? What’s different about your ex making him pay for the lawyer? His trying to make him responsible for his action. Maybe that’s what your son needs. And maybe his dad gave him money to pay the lawyer but his spending it to go out. Did you think that might be a possibility? You can’t make your son pay you board to make him responsible for himself then tell your ex he can’t do the same thing. And honestly I think you care more about your partner then your son. Your ex isn’t doing all the damage between you and your son, you are. Face it.