i had a 12 yr relationship which was on and off. On and off because we argued about his unpaid child support to a previous relationship and after a fare few alcoholic drinks, if i was talking to another male etc… he would hit me. It happened about 4 times in all these yrs.
We started a successful business and sold it and bought another business and house where he walked out on me 1 yr ago. we had business money in the accounts and he started taking the money out.
as i am left here to manage house and accommodation business, a solicitor told me i had to move the funds, to sustain business and house maintenenace.
we are now going through a property court settlement.
He wants me to release money but i cant, incase its needed.
He wont settle on a financial figure for me to pay him out, but wants some money and worry about house later.
I am scared if i release money, he will use it for his solicitor, of which hes just cancelled due to lack of funds. he has not worked this last year.
He hates me for not giving him money,
I still love him, but have always supported him in all his jobs- the last three of which i hired him.
the solicitor says i had the skills only to do the business of which is the money he is fighting for.
I hate it that i cant help him,
What do you think?
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
Stop supporting him, and cut all ties to him if you want control of your life.
Of course he wants the money…I would too if I wasn’t working. Whose name is the business in? Also, if the bank accounts are in both your names, close them and open up new ones in just your name. Both of you do not need to sign to close a bank account…just one of you. Or put as much as you can into CDs so it is locked up and no one can touch it.
What????
Put up a "NO SOLICITING" sign, sounds like that may solve all your problems.
He’s an abuser and you still love him? I think you should spend your money on a good shrink.
Just give him the money and everything will be fine.
1. Call a lawyer to save your house
2. call a lawyer to save your cash & assets
3. call a lawyer to save yourself from abuse
4. call a therapist to help you deal with the emotions
From my point of view, I don’t see why you want to help him…yes, you still love him and you were together for years BUT he abused you, left you, doesn’t work and now he wants your money.
He doesn’t sound all that great. He sounds like a money-grabbing, selfish jerk. I have a feeling he is up to no good and he will take you for everything you’ve got if you give in.
Take your lawyers advice and keep your funds until the divorce is finalized. He should have thought about his financial situation before he chose to leave.
If the situation were reversed, would be be so quick to help you financially?
What money has he put into the business ? if he has put anything into the business…then it sounds a much better idea if you can buy him out. Listen to your solicitor. Don’t allow your heart to be involved in this matter , if you do…down the road you will regret it. Remember his heart is not involved …he wants what he wants …and he wants it now….your feelings don’t come into it at all. It’s very important you look to your own future.
Here is a snippet of you what you wrote:.
"On and off because we argued about his unpaid child support to a previous relationship and after a fare few alcoholic drinks, if i was talking to another male etc… he would hit me. It happened about 4 times in all these yrs.
We started a successful business and sold it and bought another business and house where he walked out on me 1 yr ago. we had business money in the accounts and he started taking the money out.
as i am left here to manage house and accommodation business, a solicitor told me i had to move the funds, to sustain business and house maintenance."
Did you actually read what you wrote to Q&A? This man is doing nothing but using you. Do what you have to do to get rid of this man and make sure you walk out with the winning hand.
Physical abuse is NOT accepted and I don’t care if it was 4 times in 12 years or 1 time in 12 years. It is NEVER accepted.
Get away from him. Good luck.
ok kind of same deal with me with business and property I didn’t leave she had me removed and is keeping mostly everything I own from me,what you said about the money thing is absolutely right,my ex did the same thing but it didn’t work we can find money for important things when we need to,give him a fair and just settlement and move on because if you don’t it would be criminal.
yes you do not have to release the money bcz anyways he is not going to use it for any good. Either he will spend on the solicitor or on some drinks or chicks…just dont let him do it.
if you think uve made money and he is just wasting it all then u know what to do. No third person can guide you to control ur life unless you take ur own decisions when needed and stay firm on them. Asking for advice is good, it helps in taking good decisions but ur the one who is in the position to judge urself and ur bf and not any of us. What you tell is ur side of the story and we cant tell what kind of story ur bf must be having, so its better if you take a decision where you know you are right and ur doing a right thing. None of us can actually help you when it comes to financial decisions bcz u know how much he has done for u or the business and how much he is liable to get out of it. Do not give the money just bcz u love him , men can b manipulative and vice versa…so think about what kind of future you want for urself and then sign on whatever papers ur gonna get in future.
Find another man if he has a problem of hitting you quite often.
Wish u luck.