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me and my ex split 4 yrs ago and ever since its been a nightmare! hes taken my son out 2 meet up with women and has put me through hell. at this moment in time he has not seen my son for 13 weeks but a few weeks ago my son was playing outside and he came in the street and took him without me knowing, i phoned the police and they went around to his house said he was fine so they wouldn’t take him from there. before this he has spoken to my son on the phone and told him that he wants me dead( my son is 6) hes always making comments about me and my son is in the middle of all this, my ex has started a relationship with a woman who claims to be a police woman. my ex has rang me saying that he can get my son taken off me and as she has a job with the police she can "use" her job to get what he wants, I’m a single mum and i work to provide for me and my son its not great money but its a job. he says also that i work in a dead end job and i cant support him at all. at the time he made me feel so guilty i let my son go with his father and his girlfriend as i thought i was the right thing to do, but then my son came home and told me that they said to him if your mum don’t want you, you can live with us! I’m at my wits end with this all so ive contacted my solicitor and stopped him seeing our son, my ex has also stopped money for my son the past 2 months. My son has also started back at school and on the second day back he got sent home ill, ive noticed hes being sick also the past few days not a bug just sick, when i took my son back to school he got to the school gates and started saying i feel sick, i cant breath, he refused to go into school, i asked him whats wrong and he said please let me come home with you, with all thats happened i broke down, i brought my son back home and hes fine! i just dont no what to do anymore, i feel ive let him down for the little life hes had, i feel such guilt for him and wonder if he needs help, PLEASE if any1 can suggest anything id be so greatfull.
with regards to your answers im so greatful to you all, my son means the world to me. my son always askes me how much i love him to which we both respond to "all the stars in the sky", hes my life and its killing me seeing him like this, with responce to the first answer, i do no about law ive spend the last 4 yrs on this, but when it comes to someone putting you down as a mum it hurts the worst was possile and u do nuthing but doubt it. i suffered post natal depression after the birth and nearly died i lost 5 pints of blood and nuthing went right. if i could wrap my son up in cotton wool forever i would, life aint like that tho and im asking for help. yes i live in the uk. my solicitor is great.

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three years ago, I found out that my dad had purchased a property in mine and my brothers and sisters name (5 of us) without our permission. It is not known how he did it but it is suspected that he forged out signatures and then got the solicitor to sign on our behalf. My brothers and sisters attitude it great, we now have an investment property and do not want to sell because they say dad needs the rental money, but for me it means that my husband and I who have five kids are ineligible for the first home buyers grant (Australia only). My dad said that he set it up with the intent of putting money aside and it was a way for him to collect rental income. He also said that it may (and I mean may) be an inheritance. He did this in 1985, apparently documentation can be destroyed after 7 years. I do not have a relationship with my father, he is a short tempered rude man and tells me to mind my own business when I query how he managed to put this property in our name. He bought it outright at the time. Has this ever happened to anyone, have I got any rights?
It really is our word against his. My dad has asked us to declare the rental income and "gift" him the money, I have refused as I don’t recieve a cent but my brothers and sisters who are all older than me are declaring and are now part of the scam. I have sought legal advice but it seems to have fallen into the "too hard basket". My dad bought the property when our mum died, he sold another property which he was supposed to keep as our inheritance to buy a property worth not very much and divided by 5 is now worth even less. I guess I just have to accept it, how do I sue?? I can’t prove anything, I have no paper work!!! plus they are all scared of dad, so my brothers and sisters won’t so anything and so am I!

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My daughter has been thrown into the deep dark abyss of the saga of child support and custody. Her relationship was over when she discovered she was pregnant. During a difficult and dangerous pregnancy the father denied the relationship occurred, being unable to go back to work she is relying on sole parent pension. Fighting for DNA testing has proven he is the father, he is now refusing to pay child support and is going to pursue full custody. Legal aid no help. Does anyone know of good forums where she may gain support/info.

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I have a legal question regarding effects that were mine before a relationship started.
The relationship is less than two years
How come then he is entited to my effects but still legaly they are mine and he will not give to me.
I have been told to walk away by legal professions.
What answers do you have? when I have been to legal aid and womans right places and lawyers how does one get their things legally??

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Me and my ex are no longer together. On good will, i signed our childrens passports, so they can go to NZ providing i get to see my kids. My ex rung me to say i can no longer see my kids and she is in a new relationship and our children have a new dad and my kids are now calling me by my name and call there step dad, Dad. I said to her, you can’t stop me from seeing my children.Her reply was she would have me shot. I believed her before i signed the passports, she wasn’t gonna stop me from seeing our children. I guess i was taken for a fool. I miss my children so much. It has interfere with my work and how i function for the day. I can’t sleep at night because of this. I spoke to my son and he called me by my name and said i have a new Dad now. They haven’t been in NZ for more than 2 months. This was my ex plan from day one to cut me out all together. I went to see a Solicitor to see what i can do. They told me i need ,000 to get a court order to get my children.I don’t have that.

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i had a 12 yr relationship which was on and off. On and off because we argued about his unpaid child support to a previous relationship and after a fare few alcoholic drinks, if i was talking to another male etc… he would hit me. It happened about 4 times in all these yrs.

We started a successful business and sold it and bought another business and house where he walked out on me 1 yr ago. we had business money in the accounts and he started taking the money out.

as i am left here to manage house and accommodation business, a solicitor told me i had to move the funds, to sustain business and house maintenenace.

we are now going through a property court settlement.
He wants me to release money but i cant, incase its needed.

He wont settle on a financial figure for me to pay him out, but wants some money and worry about house later.

I am scared if i release money, he will use it for his solicitor, of which hes just cancelled due to lack of funds. he has not worked this last year.

He hates me for not giving him money,

I still love him, but have always supported him in all his jobs- the last three of which i hired him.

the solicitor says i had the skills only to do the business of which is the money he is fighting for.

I hate it that i cant help him,

What do you think?

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I left my husband after months of emotional abuse which i didnt realise and i had found out he had lied to me into getting married. whilst dating he showed me every good side of him bery rarely fighting except when he became upset when he couldnt contact me amongst other insecure things ie calling me or messaging me every 10 mins (no exhaguration i have checked the phone bills). he told me he had a contract to move to Dubai however we would need to be married to live there. So after him moving me away and lots of twoing and frowing the contract arrived so we quickly organised a wedding. Once we were married he confessed that he had moved me, and lied to me to get me to marry him, the contract had never existed however he wanted to test if i loved him? I couldnt trust him after this and our relationship went from horribly verbally and financially abusive him taking all money out of our account the day before all payments had to come out, where i would have to draw on my credit, then he would make up for the next couple of days or weeks. this went on with him seeing a pshychologist and became more and more volatile eventually i had to leave after he became physically abusive. I have established my life elsewhere having to move back home with my mum and dad for emotional and financial support however he during our relationship he put all bills in my name and has no left me with thousands of dollars of debt and I have found out he had had an abusive history. I want to move on with my life however i have this huge debt im trying to pay off which he has walked away from about 90k. I went to see a solicitor and they have told me it will cost more and take years to settle as there are no physicall assets.His solicitor has sent letters agreeing to pay his phone bill only. How can i get him to pay for his debts without it costing me money i dont have. He earns 150k pa and myself 40k pa he has no debts in his name and had walked away and has no remorse in his words ‘i left so its my problem’ i need to know who to call and what he should have to pay, My current solicitor thinks i should be lucky to be alive and just put my head down and pay the debt off, however it just doesnt feel right that he did this and gets to do what he wants and i will have to spend the next 4 years paying of this debt.
I would appreciate any advice.

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My ex’s solicitor has just mailed me parenting orders, but i don’t agree with them. he wants 8 hours every sunday, building up to 50/50 custody.There was a history of violence and abuse in our relationship, but i left before our daughter (10mnths) was born. he was alcoholic and addicted to marijuana and pornography, and some things he told me indicated tendencies to pedophilia. i never reported the abuse to the police during our relationship (apparently this is very common), and the only witness was a relative of his, who would never betray him. he was coming to my house to visit baby for first 4mnths, and being supervised by my parents, but he was intimidating and manipulative and used the police to intimidate me (welfare checks for no reason), so on police advice, i stopped contact. i was able to get supervised contact once a fortnight, and he agreed to it, he has been seeing her there since then. we tried mediation, (he applied at relationships australia) but were told it is inappropriate considering abuse, although i did convince them to try, and did it over phone from home whilst he was at mediation centre. The mediators decided it wasn’t working and gave us certificates. i applied for an AVO for stalking behaviour 4 mnths ago, but was denied (was told yesterday that i was denied incorrectly, i should have got it, but it has been too long now since last incident so i can’t get one). i have been told that as i have no hard evidence of abuse, and no unbiased witnesses (my parents witnessed intimidation and he admitted some things he had done to them), he will get everything he is asking for. i have seen two solicitors now, and they both say the same. i’m desperate, deeply depressed, unable to function, i rarely leave the house… any advice – please help, i don’t know what to do and i am so scared. i can’t hand my daughter over to him, but i can’t prove anything, so what can i do? i feel so hopeless! it’s my job to protect her, not put her in danger
ok, so i know it’s not all ‘sunshine and roses’, but i’m desperate. i need anyone with similar experiences of their own to let me know what they did?
The relative would NEVER say a word against him, and in fact would lie if he asked.
and dizzyliz, he was not a substance abuser when i met him, nor was he violent or abusive to me. it happened gradually through our relationship. the pregnancy was not planned, i left him when i was 6 mnths pregnant as i could not bring a child into that environment, nor could i put myself at risk any longer as he had become a very heavy drinker and very abusive whilst drunk. it is not easy to leave a realationship like this, you stay as you think you can change him. he mad me feel dependant, worthless, depressed and physically and psychologically harmed me, to the point where i was a total mess and unable to function. i had planned my life with this man. it is increadibly hard to leave that and ‘do it alone’ when you are in such a fragile state of mind.
i will have him drug tested, and see how that goes. i’ve been told that as he has not been admitted to a clinic or had any arrests for drunk and disorderly or anything that could prove he has a substance abuse problem, i don’t really have anything to admit in court….. god, i wish i’d called the police.
oh, there have been reports to docs (manditory reporting) about things i have said re: the abuse during relationship, but apparently that’s really just ‘hearsay’, not hard evidence….

Well this is just for some advice for my friend. shes not on this site, so thought id tell the story and see what people think or know of that can be done.
Basically can only accept australia residents answers cause its about law and i know every coutry is different, but please state where you are from, even if you are out of the coutry and you want to give advice, just so i know what can be done.

Anyways, my best friend has a 15 month old. Herself and her ex broke off the relationship (of 2 years or so) about october 2007 (when the baby was 5-6 months old. They fought through court over custody(from applicationt to final settlement was 7 months), she was happy to give him visitations, but just wanted it to be written and witnessed by someone in the law field. Just for proof and what not. The solicitors suggested that the father have the child every weekend, as he had not been around for a while due to them breaking up, and that in doing this, would give the child more time to get to know his father and realise that weekends are dad time. He was not for this, agreed on ever second weekend and then it was settled. He wasnt too into the whole "visitation" thing, and as everyone could clearly see, he only agreed to court to spite my friend and make her upset.

anyways he was taking the child every second weekend. well nearly. Alot of the time he was ringing saying "oh i have something on this weekend but can i have him a night during the week". She was very leiniant and was good with him switching days, just so her son could spend time with his dad. Anyways, its been probably just 3 months, and the father has slacked off bigtime. He keeps trying to switch his weekends for week nights (only because he wishes to party and get drunk). And what is worse, is he lies about it.
Now this is where it started to get out of hand. this weekend just gone, it was the fathers turn to take the son, He usually comes friday arvo, picks him up and takes him back home sunday arvo, But this week he wouldnt give my friend an answer. Kept saying he might have to "work". He text messaged her friday afternoon and said sorry i have to go on a business trip for work and ill be out of the state. She rang his work (where he claimed to be employed) and they stated he hadnt worked there in years. She was soo mad at this point and caught on he was lying, she drove to his house. She found 6 or so cars, music playing and people hanging aorund drinking. she got out the car, stormed inside and found him drunk on the lounge. she yelled at him (wont tell whole conversation) and left. He hasnt contacted her since!!
She rang legal aid, and her solicitor who is through them, and asked what can be done. they said NOTHING! He does nto have to take his son if he doesnt want to. BUT the strange this is, if now she hesitates to let him go there (eg the father wants him on his next weekend and she says no) she will be in trouble for it, and could be punished for, i suppose, going against the agreement. And now she doesnt know what to do, as she is upset the father does not want to see the son (chooses partying over seeing is son) and is worried he has parties while he has his visitation!

was just asking for advice on what i can tell her to do?
she is planning to ignore him, hoping he takes her to court, and she can then stand infront of a judge and show all the proof of his lack of enthusiasm and his lies (as she has a diary).

Please send some comments, no nasty comments please. thanks

Howdy!

I was wondering if anyone could give me a little advice on where I stand here. Firstly let me say that I have contacted Legal Aid – they’re taking forever to get back to me and a decision needs to be reached fairly soon so I thought I’d give this place a try!

I am in Australia. I want to move interstate. I have a child to a previous relationship (which ended in 2000) who is 9. She still sees her father (when he can be bothered). We have a court order that was set out in early 2001 which states he sees her 2 days per week (for 3 hours) and every second weekend.

My ex moved interstate when our daughter was around 3 years old. Obviously this had a major impact on his access – it became almost non existent.

When my daughter was 4 he moved interstate again – and even further away. My daughter and I ended moving to the same state – although not because he had moved there.

When my daughter was 7 he moved overseas for a little over a year.
Since his return he has rarely seen her both days during the week and has cancelled her weekend with him a few times.

Although I feel it is completely ridiculous that he could have any say about where I move – I am of the understanding that he does due to the court order.

Does anyone know whether this is true or not, and if so, do you know how I could get around it.

He enjoys causing trouble, and quite conveniently forgets that he has moved around all over the place when he uses his "How will I see my daughter" garb.