Well this is just for some advice for my friend. shes not on this site, so thought id tell the story and see what people think or know of that can be done.
Basically can only accept australia residents answers cause its about law and i know every coutry is different, but please state where you are from, even if you are out of the coutry and you want to give advice, just so i know what can be done.
Anyways, my best friend has a 15 month old. Herself and her ex broke off the relationship (of 2 years or so) about october 2007 (when the baby was 5-6 months old. They fought through court over custody(from applicationt to final settlement was 7 months), she was happy to give him visitations, but just wanted it to be written and witnessed by someone in the law field. Just for proof and what not. The solicitors suggested that the father have the child every weekend, as he had not been around for a while due to them breaking up, and that in doing this, would give the child more time to get to know his father and realise that weekends are dad time. He was not for this, agreed on ever second weekend and then it was settled. He wasnt too into the whole "visitation" thing, and as everyone could clearly see, he only agreed to court to spite my friend and make her upset.
anyways he was taking the child every second weekend. well nearly. Alot of the time he was ringing saying "oh i have something on this weekend but can i have him a night during the week". She was very leiniant and was good with him switching days, just so her son could spend time with his dad. Anyways, its been probably just 3 months, and the father has slacked off bigtime. He keeps trying to switch his weekends for week nights (only because he wishes to party and get drunk). And what is worse, is he lies about it.
Now this is where it started to get out of hand. this weekend just gone, it was the fathers turn to take the son, He usually comes friday arvo, picks him up and takes him back home sunday arvo, But this week he wouldnt give my friend an answer. Kept saying he might have to "work". He text messaged her friday afternoon and said sorry i have to go on a business trip for work and ill be out of the state. She rang his work (where he claimed to be employed) and they stated he hadnt worked there in years. She was soo mad at this point and caught on he was lying, she drove to his house. She found 6 or so cars, music playing and people hanging aorund drinking. she got out the car, stormed inside and found him drunk on the lounge. she yelled at him (wont tell whole conversation) and left. He hasnt contacted her since!!
She rang legal aid, and her solicitor who is through them, and asked what can be done. they said NOTHING! He does nto have to take his son if he doesnt want to. BUT the strange this is, if now she hesitates to let him go there (eg the father wants him on his next weekend and she says no) she will be in trouble for it, and could be punished for, i suppose, going against the agreement. And now she doesnt know what to do, as she is upset the father does not want to see the son (chooses partying over seeing is son) and is worried he has parties while he has his visitation!
was just asking for advice on what i can tell her to do?
she is planning to ignore him, hoping he takes her to court, and she can then stand infront of a judge and show all the proof of his lack of enthusiasm and his lies (as she has a diary).
Please send some comments, no nasty comments please. thanks
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
I’m from the US, and am a retired attorney. If he comes around some weekend, she can just say the child is sick. That might work to give her enough time to sue for full custody and/or to establish that he is unfit as a parent. She should talk to her solicitor asap, though, because she doesn’t want him to establish that she is denying him visitation.
If he represented in court that he worked at the company where he in fact hasn’t for 5-6 years, he could also be charged with contempt, and the judge wouldn’t be happy with him. He is also supposed to be working, and has to maintain a safe, comfortable, and clean place for the visitation to occur. Have your friend report to the solicitor if, on her visit there, the place looks suitable for visitation (not counting the party).
If it were me, I would also go to his house the next time he refuses weekend visitation. I would go with a video camera, show a publication with the date and/or a radio news or sports show, then pan over the cars in the yard, record the noise, and get a look at the trash. If she can establish his preference for alcohol over his child, she may be able in court to establish that he has a drinking problem.
Also, I hope she is recording in her diary every incident when he has brought back the child with any illness, diarrhea, dirty clothes, missing clothes, etc.
Wish her luck for me!