I need help. i have 5 mnth old baby to a man that doesnt want to know her and never met her.
The problem is he has not told any of his family she exists. They have never met me either, but i do know how to contact them. I thought i could keep my mouth shut and say nothing but its proven to be so difficult. My daughter has a right to know where she comes from and his family have a right to know she exists.
Would telling them, be the right thing to do? or should i stay out of it. They are her family too.
This is so hard and plays on mind. I am going through a child support dispute with him which will prob end up in court and he refuses to speak to me or to CSA or Solicitors. Should i wait till after that if i was going to contact them? Will they hate me for telling them?
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
I think it might be a bad idea just to show up and say, ‘Oh, this is your grand-daughter.’ They will probably think that you’re some woman trying to extort money from their son.
Just stick with getting the child support…and yes, take it to court. That way, if he ever skips out on you, then when he lands in jail and he has to explain to his parents why he’s there, he’ll have to tell them about the child. At that point…I think they’ll be more interested in meeting you and your daughter. (Yea, bad way of looking at the events…but as the person above said, he’s probably not a good person to have in your daughter’s life anyway).
since this guy is not interested in being a father to your 5 month old daughter, taking him to court will not change his mind. if you have family that can help you go to them, and consider yourself lucky that you and your daughter got away from him, he doesn’t sound very stable. good luck.
I agree, it is better to not force yourself upon a family that does not know you. I dont know the legal implications of this but child support from him is fair to ask but parenting interest is not something you can force upon him. You might want to think if in some way you are unconsciously using your baby daughter as a means to get legitimacy from him and his family. Its hard I know but let it go. Moving on with your life and finding another man you love will give your daughter a lot more stability and happiness.
I would leave the grandparents out of this. If they have never met you then they don’t need to know that they have a granddaughter . It may become best in the long run. What if he tries to take the baby someday ? If his parents were to know the child they could try and say it is better off with them, scary to think about but you have to.
Taking him to court is wise. It took two to make the baby and one cant just expect to get off scott free. Now be prepared for him to fight for custody, Even though he has no interest in the child now he may demand it if forced to pay for it as well. I am sorry you are going through this and i hope you come out on top and find a better man who can treat your kid as his own and be raised in a loving atmosphere.