ok well my ex husband up & left me went overseas then called me told me f off loved another woman & that he didnt want nothing to do with his son as his new girl didnt want him to have anything to do with me or our son etc well that was 3 years ago . …i went to legal aid sbout 3 months ago (as i remarried & my husband wants my son take his name as we have 2 children together & he doesnt want my son to feel that he doesnt love him equal as my son only knows him as his dad meaning he wants to adopt him but i need to get full custody anyway as for things that needs father consent passport etc.. anyway i rang legal aid they told me i need to get full custody i explained to them that i cant as i dont know where he is… they then told me to send a letter to his sister who lives 30minutes from me (i only had her address as 3 years ago i deleted her number and all asi just wanted to forget my ex ) so i sent the letter saying could she get my ex to sign a stat declaration stating he gives me full custody etc.. well its been nearly 2 months & i havent recieved anything i know she still lives her at her address as i drove past to see ,, now my husband is telling me to go over there (to my exs sister house) & give her the stat declaration & tell her again to give to him so when we go back to legal aid we can say we told his sister by letter & face to face that i want full custody as my ex hasnt contacted or seen his son in 3 years & no reply & it could help us .. im lost at what to do me & my exs sister didnt leave on bad terms she is quiet nice (she was upset about the whole situation at the time ) i havent spoken or seen her in 3 years & i just dont want to bother her i know my ex has a different life now with his new wife maybe kids (as his friends that live here told me ages ago ) .. & i dont want to cause any dramas but im lost at what to do i need this paper this is my sons life … should i bite the bullet &go over there but what do you say after not seeing someone for 3 years & if she talks about my ex i could get emotional not that i love him anymore but he hurt me real bad (as when he left me all i wanted was answers .. what does everyone think i should do & if i do go any ideas on what to say etc.. .. thanks for everyones input
reply ::::… his family are all overseas his mother never liked me as she wanted him to marry another chick which who he left me in the end for …….. his sister is the only family he had here ……
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
Just go over there. Apologize for just turning up and putting her in the middle of it all and explain you had no choice.
I do wonder why you have had no contact with them at all this entire time? Just because you husband left, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t see your son. Did his parents not want to see their grandson? Did she not want to see her nephew? …. Sounds like there is a little more to the story, I hope you didn’t deny them access, If not they are all pretty f*cked up by the sounds of it.
I would go and see her…..yes your son and yourself deserve to move on with your life……otherwise hire an investigator to find him….if you have the funds. cheers : )
u should be able to lodge a Stat Dec that ur ex is uncontactable and u want a decision made due to being the primary care giver since he left.
u should also provide proof (bank statements) that u have not been recieving any financial assistance from ur ex for the children either.
get more STAT DEC’s from friends and family to corroberate your claim!
Take all this to the family court to get a judgement in ur favour – good luck!
I was in the similiar situation years ago. My daughters father had moved away, I had remarried, and my husband wanted to adopt my daughter as he has helped raise her from 1 year old, and we wanted both our children to have the same name before starting school.
I dealt with it through a solicitor. As the biological father’s consent is required, the solicitor made every effort to contact him via friends, family, employers, etc. After a period of time, it was deemed that he was uncontactable, and the adoption process continued and was approved without his consent. It was not very expensive at the time, I think the cost was around $1500. I consider the cost was well worth it, to ensure the procedures was correct, everything legal and proper, and without me personally having to chase down my ex to get him to sign anything.
Rather than involve your ex’s family (and lets face it, her lack of contact shows she doesnt want to get involved, and probably favours her brother’s side anyway), get a solicitor, or legal aid, to deal with it for you. Good luck.
I hear your dilemma, I think u should keep the ball rolling u r on and go to the relatives house and just say, sorry to interrupt, I didn’t have the number. I sent a letter hear a while ago and never got a response. I am hear wondering if u received the letter? did he receive the letter?
did he say anything about the letter after knowing what it said and what i am going to do?
If not, resend the letter, registered mail, u have a receipt then. I would wait only a reasonable time and then have your lawyer contact them via mail and set court, most likely he won’t show and u will be granted custody. I would continue this asap, I think u r all set. don’t worry about
getting emotional, u r human, right?
the past is the past, we all have memories, we can’t erase those. Good or bad.
Good luck sweetie and happy life ahead