I have a two year old son to a dead beat dad and he aslo has two other children whom i am very close with .I have stayed in contact with the two other children so that my son can know his sisters.just yesterday i found out he had shown them solictor letters that have been going back and forth between us to come to a agreement of contact for my son.so now the two girls think that i am trying to stop there dad from seeing my son (which i am not the father is a drug abuser and i want my son to have a safe enviroment when he goes to visit)I am really pissed that he would use the children to get at me and i feel asthough i am always made out to be the bad person when all im trying to do is protect my child. What should i do i dont want to have to explain myself or my actions to 9 and 11 year old girls because i would have nothing good to say about there dad but how do i defend my actions so they understand? PLEASE HELP
Jun
04
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Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
first of all you are a good mother for keeping touch with the girls. it is not easy when dads use other kids to hurt you. just keep strong in your decisions. your son is what is important then girls will understand one day. i use to be like those girls. but know i understand and respect my step mom for keeping my brother away from my dad. it caused my dad to clean up. tell them that you just want him to clean up. and when he does he can see him. or try visitation where you and the girls and their mom are present. even try talking to their mom as well on how she does it.
Have you tried talking to the girl’s Mom about this? You two might be able to come up with something together. Its so sad when a parent manipulates their children just to hurt others. They are old enough to know that he’s made bad choices. Just tell them that he’s made some dangerous choices that you think could hurt your kid. You two are trying to decide what to do, because of those bad choices. But either way, your son loves them and wants them in his life.
I dunno if any of this will help. You really really need to talk to the girls’ Mom. Its so hard dealing with children on adult topics. If you say its adult stuff, they’ll get insulted. You cannot say anything bad about their Dad, cause they’ll get defensive. You’ve somehow gotta put a spin on this information that is truthful and doesn’t make anyone out to be the bad guy. I so don’t envy your position. Just be very very careful of anything you say. Wow, this is a tough one.
you shouldnt have to explain anything to children that dont know what the real story is have yoou talked to the girls mother or do they live with the dead beat if it keeps up get the court system involved.
I am very sorry for all the pain this self-serving man has put you through. There is no reason for a grown man to want to cause grief in his own children’s hearts just to "get back" at you for all the grief that you have "put him through".
You know that you are only doing what is right for your child, but he is twisting it to serve his own needs.
Document all the findings you have made and tell them to your lawyer or to the judge if you have to. These actions he has taken will only help prove how unsafe your son is when he is with him alone.
When you see the "girls" the best thing to do is explain to them why you got that Court Order.
DO NOT ABUSE THE DAD’S CHARACTER… after all, its THIER dad your talking about… (They only know you as "the other woman" who daddy "used to known")….
If you cant say anything nice about him, just explain what the Order says, and thats it. They wont understand unless they are mature enough to understand about drug users, and if its thier Dad, they may over look it, as "its just what dads do"…
I shall pray for you …
Jesse