i have 2 kids 4 and 7 and they stay at my nan and pops place 2 nights a week when me and my partner work dogwatch ( NIGHTSHIFT)
i am at present going through the legal system with my ex who is the kids father… the solicitor had told me to listen to the conversations when the kids are on the phone to him, we have been to court for avo’s etc.. we are waiting on paper work to work out visitation and child access for him.
he doesnt want to see the kids except for when it is good for him or he has a family affair.
i told my nan and pop that they arent to make arrangements for him to see the kids unless i agree and am aware of it.
they minded my girls yesterday and they called me in the afternoon asking if i would give my ex back a bird that i have and of course i said no way its my bird,( he didnt want it 6 months ago and he wants it now im attached to it..
then i find out they made arrangements to have my kids dad out at their house for the afternoon with me quite unaware..
He is only supposed to see the kids every fortnite and my nan and pop does this, i feel very hurt and they have betrayed my trust AGAIN…
i thought that my kids were at a safe place but it is obvious they are not. so i have made other arrangements with a carer to stop this happening. its not that i am stopping him from seeing the kids its that i want to be aware of whats happenining for legal reason etc. i am sooo angry any advice before i completely wipe my grans from my life…?
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
Your grief and anger is understandable. You want to protect your children and they are yours, not theirs. You feel betrayed by folks whom you are close to. It’s understandable.
However, as mistaken as your parents are for what they did, they may feel in the middle as the kids may have had some input in them making the decisions that they did. They were wrong to usurp your wishes.
If you have a legal agreement for specific visitation with their father then they must honor it. If not, you could be held legally liable and they must understand that. Warn them first. They may not be aware of it. I am sure they meant well and wish to appear "fair" to the kids and their dad, mistaken though they are.
If after sitting down and speaking to them, it continues, perhaps you should remove the children and inform them that they too are in danger of having supervised visits or none at all…..???
Been there. They probably want you two to get back together, or think that the children should spend as much time with him as possible. The other possibility is that he is a sweet talker and they went along with what he said. Anyway they mean well.
I would not send the kids over there anymore. Other than that I would just pretend like it didn’t happen. The older they get, the more set in their ways, the less likely they are to change.
My advice (from experience) suck it up, act like it didn’t happen. In my case after a few months they had completely forgotten the whole thing.
make sure that you explain to them that the reason that they are not to do that is because of the legal actions that are going on atm and since that they appear to be unable to abide by this fact that until the legal matters are settled that you have made other arrangements but try not to cut them out cause they are only doing what they thing is best even though they dont seem to understand your directions once this is all settled you can work on your relationship with them if they get upset by your decision
Get someone else to watch the kids then. Tell your parents/grandparents that they violated your wishes yet again and are not happy about it. Remove them as the babysitters if possible from now on. They will learn a lesson by not seeing the grandkids without you present from now on.