me and my ex split 4 yrs ago and ever since its been a nightmare! hes taken my son out 2 meet up with women and has put me through hell. at this moment in time he has not seen my son for 13 weeks but a few weeks ago my son was playing outside and he came in the street and took him without me knowing, i phoned the police and they went around to his house said he was fine so they wouldn’t take him from there. before this he has spoken to my son on the phone and told him that he wants me dead( my son is 6) hes always making comments about me and my son is in the middle of all this, my ex has started a relationship with a woman who claims to be a police woman. my ex has rang me saying that he can get my son taken off me and as she has a job with the police she can "use" her job to get what he wants, I’m a single mum and i work to provide for me and my son its not great money but its a job. he says also that i work in a dead end job and i cant support him at all. at the time he made me feel so guilty i let my son go with his father and his girlfriend as i thought i was the right thing to do, but then my son came home and told me that they said to him if your mum don’t want you, you can live with us! I’m at my wits end with this all so ive contacted my solicitor and stopped him seeing our son, my ex has also stopped money for my son the past 2 months. My son has also started back at school and on the second day back he got sent home ill, ive noticed hes being sick also the past few days not a bug just sick, when i took my son back to school he got to the school gates and started saying i feel sick, i cant breath, he refused to go into school, i asked him whats wrong and he said please let me come home with you, with all thats happened i broke down, i brought my son back home and hes fine! i just dont no what to do anymore, i feel ive let him down for the little life hes had, i feel such guilt for him and wonder if he needs help, PLEASE if any1 can suggest anything id be so greatfull.
with regards to your answers im so greatful to you all, my son means the world to me. my son always askes me how much i love him to which we both respond to "all the stars in the sky", hes my life and its killing me seeing him like this, with responce to the first answer, i do no about law ive spend the last 4 yrs on this, but when it comes to someone putting you down as a mum it hurts the worst was possile and u do nuthing but doubt it. i suffered post natal depression after the birth and nearly died i lost 5 pints of blood and nuthing went right. if i could wrap my son up in cotton wool forever i would, life aint like that tho and im asking for help. yes i live in the uk. my solicitor is great.
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
First, I am SO sorry you are dealing with this.
My advice:
1. Get some kind of lawyer or representation. Just go for a consultation and see what they can tell you about your rights. Make sure to mention everything: the threats he has made to you through your son, the kidnapping (because that’s what it was—why the officers involved did nothing is ridiculous and should also be mentioned), the fact that his girlfriend is a police officer and he is using her position to threaten you, etc. Tell the lawyer about the child support issue. Sounds to me though, like you may just get sole custody. This ex of yours sounds crazy.
2. Get the law involved. Make a report of threats (to you), and verbal abuse to your child. Get a restraining order. Tell the police the same things you have told your lawyer/representation. There probably won’t be any trouble at all with a restraining order. Make sure your son knows NOT to go with his father unless he tells you first.
3. Yes, get your son some help, and get yourself some help, too. (It astounds me that a man who threatens you, scares your child, abducts your child, and scares you both could make YOU feel guilty. The man sounds awful, and HE needs to feel guilty—not you). It would probably do a lot of good for both of you to see some kind of couselor/therapist. Supplement that with the your son seeing the school counselor as well. Reassure him always that you love him, and that you guys will figure this out together. From what you write he sounds terrified, and you do, too. You need to feel empowered and strong. Don’t take anymore of this man’s crap—but don’t directly confront him either. He sounds unstable.
4. Inform your family, friends, and your son’s school, of the situation. Make sure they are aware that this ex of yours is threatening/agressive and has been known to take your son without your knowledge or permission. Let them know that it is unacceptable for your son to go with his dad unless you are informed. This is not being nosy, rude, or violating your ex’s rights—it is common sense and it is the law!
5. Think about getting some home secuirty. New locks on the doors, and alarm system, etc. I don’t want to worry you, I really don’t, but your ex’s behavior sounds agressive and violent. You want you and your son to feel as safe as possible.
I hope I have helped you at least a little, and I hpe you and your son get the help you need! Personally, based on your question, it sounds like what you and your son need most, is this man out of your lives!
Good luck, and best wishes to you.
From what you have said in the blog ,I can feel your great love of your son. may you can sucessfully get through this trouble .