I was just wondering, is this kind of family environment I live in Is normal, or i am just being an over dramatic. I do hope I can get some advice, as I am too shy to ask other people.
To start things off I’m 16 years old, I Live in Sydney NSW, Australia with my mum who works as a doctor, and is never home, i also live withmy dad and 1 older brother who doesn’t live with me because his 24. and oh I am also a female student studying in highschool at a 11th grade level and soon to be completing my HSC course.
Recently I’ve just got my Highschool report which i put so much effort into it. I stayed up days and nights and spent my afternoons in the school library studying. As soon as my report falls into my hands, and i look through my results, i knew straight away… and can just see the image of me going to get belted, punched, choked, screamed at and geting called horrific names by my father, just instantly. As i went home, I quickly hid my report, and hoping that no one will ever find out. One week later since it was the end of 2nd school semester. My dads yells at me across the house and asks for my report.. As i showed him my report, i stepped to the other side of the room, because i knew what is comming. After flicking through my report He then looks at me, then..of course what i’m expecting…..he yells at me. Then tell’s me how stupid and how much of moron i am. And why my lows grades were very poor, as they were between 75 – 85 %. He then tells me to say out loud that "I AM A MORON", and i refused to say that, so i just looked at the blank wall next to me. As Im facing the wall he stil yells at me saying, How i am useless in the family, and he doesn’t understand why he is paying for my school fee’s, and he said that he doesn’t know what to do with me. He Then tops it all off saying that i am Failure at life, and that im just better off as a prostitute living in the street scabbing money off old drunken men.
He then ripps my report and chucks it on the floor and expects me to pick it up, and as soon i pick it up, he then spits at me multiple times on my face and into my hair, and In my mind, my self esteem, my motivation, my dreams, my door to happiness.. shuts. The door to loving myself and nature, also slams. He pretty much just taught me, of how much of an idiot i am. But this name calling and his verbal abuse has lived with me ever since i could remember.
I’ve always dreamed on studying commerce or finance, combined with a law degree at a university, and end up as becoming a succesful solicitor just how my mum is a sucessful Doctor. But knowing that when someone calls you a moron, a failure, useless, and stupid almost everyday. You just can’t Ignore it. So I loose my confidence in myself, and i lost my motivation in school work. When im in class, i stare at the board, thinking that i MUST pass highschool, and that if i dont make it into uni straight away with a poor UAI score, i’ll just end my life in suicide, coz i believe i don’t have any hope or intelligence anymore.and he will just eventually kick me out anyways, as he thinks my grades are not up to his standards.
So as a result of my past, everyday from morning, to afternoon and night, I always find myself living in fear, with low confidence and having low self esteem. I’ve lost over 10 kilo’s as i stopped eating. Im always tired and when i get home the first thing i do is go into my room and just sleep, to get away from my dad. I now cant concentrate properly, as I believe This is all caused from my father, but maybe perhaps, i’m just over dramatic?, or that im just making a big fuss about nothing? I just…don’t know….
so, i never talk about my situation to any other people as they will just think im lying and just want attention. So i thought just keeping all tthis a secret, i wil just get over it, and it will just eventually go away, But i guess not.
Are you thinking about selling your home yourself? then
You already know the answers to all of these queries you are posting for us to read. Of course it is not a healthy living environment- not a healthy environment of any kind to be honest! School isn’t the most important thing in life (you did not hear that from me). With that said, your father or anybody else for that matter has absolutely no right to treat you in such a manner. Do your best and try your hardest at school to "learn" the material and concepts, and try not to use rote memorization because that itself will only take you so far. Then when you see your next report card grade, you’ll be suprised at how well you done. Then, you can shove that report card down your parents throats in a humble fashion. Spitting, hitting, and using abusive language is the wrong way for your father to handle such a situation. You need to explain to him that you already know that you are going to be successful and by him handling the situation the way he did is going to worsen the problem rather than fix it. If you are studying day and night and someone tries commenting on how bad you are doing, then keep in mind that you are the one studying, not them, therefore they should keep to themselves and not have so many things to say. I want you to prove them wrong. Show them they are wrong. This should be a source of motivation for you. Also, if the environment is becoming too dangerous, as I already believe it is by the details you have provided, then I suggest you get out of there as soon as possible. Live with somebody else, or contact safety and police officials about the situation. If not, you have got to learn how to avoid such predicaments. Any little choice or decision you make has a huge impact on your life-with that said, choose wisely. As for the low confidence, you should not let someone "mess" you up so much that your self confidence goes down the drain. This should boost your confidence because you set out to be even more successful. I’m just telling you to seek the good out of even a bad situation. Keep eating healthily, I recommend you research the Abs Diet book, very great nutrition value and tips. Eat foods that are healthy and eat adequately. You already know that your current eating methods are wrong and I shouldn’t have to to tell you this again. Stop focusing on the situation that is going on between you and your family life and focus on all the goals and aspirations you have. Whatever you focus your energy on is what you will get. If you focus on being depressed or angry because of what your family has done then that is what you will think of and ultimately feed the idea of at the end of the day. So just keep in your mind the goal you have of finance, and stick to it. Turn all the bad energy into good. You can do it. Focus on the good, release and let go of the bad. Also, do not care too much of other people’s opinions, they will always have one. Let me explain you the story of Mullah Nasrudeen. Mullah Nasrudeen was an old religious Muslim guy back in the day. He had a son whom he was traveling with from city to city. In between cities, the temperature was so hot and desert like. Mullah Nasrudeen also had a camel. Firstly, Mullah Nasrudeen was riding the camel and his son was walking. The villagers nearby commented and said "How mean, this old man on the camel is letting his son walk in this hot desert, what a shame!" Mullah Nasrudeen heard this and got off and placed his son on the camel. Through the next city the people saw Mullah Nasrudeen’s son on the camel and said "look at that man, he is walking in this hot desert and is so old and weak, and his young and energized son is riding the camel when he should let his father ride it." Mullah Nasrudeen heard this and took his son off the camel too. Now through the third city, both Mullah Nasrudeen and his son were walking and no one was sitting on the camel. The nearby villagers saw them both and commented, "look at Mullah Nasrudeen and his son, both of them are walking in this hot desert when they have a camel, why are they doing this? They should be riding it." Then Mullah Nasrudeen thought and said to himself, "No matter what you do in this life everyone will always have their own comments and opinions, you cannot listen to everybody, just be on your way". I hope you understood the moral of the story. You can do anything you set your mind to, do not let such trivial matters with your family destroy your morale. You are the ultimate chooser of your destiny, and how you shape and mold it is determined by you alone. I know your morale will get better if you implement at least some of the principals I am explaining to you. Eat healthy, think healthy, act healthy, live healthy. If you need anymore assistance please leave your email or other sources of contact information so I can get back at you. Thank you and I would wish you luck but luck does not exist, will does. You are successful and will continue to be successful in life. Peace.
This won’t go away, you need to say something to someone, maybe your mom. Pass school and get the f away from your father. He is the kind of person I despise, you need encouragement not someone telling you your a failure. Your not, just try and make it through this and get away from it as soon as you can and then don’t ever look back!
that is not right.i think that you should tell a trusted adult and maybe they can help you out a little bit more.juss because your dad called yu all those names doesnt really mean that you are.and since yu tried your best.thats all tht matters.soemtimes YOUR best isnt alwayys THE best.and he kneeds to understand that.as for the punching ad chocking thats unacceptable and abuse.and the spitting is SO disrespectful.if you dont want this to continue you need to tell somebody that can help you.